A week passed. The tears have stopped. The heart continues to ache. There are days when I wonder about the possibilities… Some days, I burst out laughing, other times I hide a tiny smile, and other times, my heart aches so badly that I think it’s possible to feel as tragic as King Lear. King Lear, when read and performed, felt melodramatic, there was only so much empathy that we as amateur actors could offer. But that day…he was my friend. Will I find closure? I travel. I work. I laugh. I do the mundane. I seek the word of God. It takes a certain level of maturity to contain your emotions, because as much as we want to be true to ourselves and our emotions, it is also kind and responsible of us if we consider the people around us. When we have certain reactions, we will affect other people. Some people call it noble. I shrug it off, because, really, that’s what my brain is for right? A mind so that I can think, a mind that I can control, a mind to make certain decisions. When things turn topsy-turvy, the stories in the Faraway Tree does not seem so foreign. I wake up some days, pinching myself to check if what happened was true, even so, the pinching does not jolt one back to reality. Everything seems so surreal these days. In my anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, bitterness, and feelings of inadequacy, words that will hurt, words that will pierce, and words that will not please my maker pops into my mind. It is not easy to fake those smiles, to have those conversations, to juggle and negotiate those emotions, but I will learn to trust in my Maker’s plans. Where will you be 5 years down the road? Where will I be 5 years down the road? None of us have the answer. However, with the little energy and strength left in me,… I find this song extremely apt; from none other than my favourite artist: Rachael Yamagata “So with my best My very best I set you free”