What do you do with a B.A. in English,
What is my life going to be?
Four years of college and plenty of knowledge,
Have earned me this useless degree.

I can't pay the bills yet,
'Cause I have no skills yet,
The world is a big scary place.

But somehow I can't shake,
The feeling I might make,
A difference,
To the human race.

Ever since I graduated, I have been refining and sending out resumes to various organizations. Can’t help but feel old and scared. Years of acquiring knowledge at institutions ends here…for now…

Why do I feel so inadequate despite studying for 22 years? When I look at the job descriptions, I feel as though I do not meet the mark. I laugh at myself for getting a rather useless degree, but still smile at the fact that the friends I made at varsity are really awesome! ☺

With so much time on my hand, I have read so much that I have resolved that no matter how busy/tired I am when I eventually get a job, I want to continue reading books and plays. Recently, I read Vincent Van Gough’s letters. My heart sank whenever his letter back home sounded so sad and devoid of hope. It seems like all the love from his family and the talent he possessed was not enough to satisfy by talented guy.

The truth is, although I have been sending out many resumes, I am not particularly anxious about wanting to get the job. It is far from my dream job. Until I went back to my internship company to get my referral letter and was introduced to a new gallery that is currently hiring. THAT job got my heart racing. I want it. To combine both my love for visual arts and to some extent, power to do research to implement changes and innovation sounds extremely challenging. However, I am beyond thrilled. I WANT that job.
Although I didn’t get a higher grade for my research paper as I thought I would get, I enjoyed the process. In a masochistic way, I enjoyed the late nights, the close to break down on the day of the presentation, the days spent at starbucks refining and redefining my research. Acquiring knowledge got my toes tingling with joy. I am going to spend some time to write a good cover letter. I wake up excited to work on my resume and job hunt… and THAT is a job I want to wake up to.
Before this, my job hunt was filled with many dreams that distracted me.

Perhaps I should be a pilot? Then the thought of having hundreds of passengers’ lives on my shoulders deterred me from thinking further.

How about I be a poor artist? Join artist village and create? My parents’ wrath came upon me and I woke up from that dream.

How about doing events? After all I do have connections.

My dreams…. Who will make what of it? s