Recently, I found myself wanting to spend some time alone. I guess socializing gets a little tiring when it occurs everyday, mind you that neither is it boring nor something that I dread. This summer was spent doing one pathetic painting only. My dream of spending nights/morning behind an easel, painting, sketching, inhaling toxic did not materialize.

It’s flag tomorrow. Should I go???

Last week, I found myself pretty affected by something that happened that I got a shock myself when I found myself tearing while running. You see, running is a good way for me to ruminate upon some things. Sitting in a room thinking is way too stifling!!!

Anyway, my get away from Singapore this summer proved to be quite fruitful. An expensive thinking get away but absolutely necessary. Reason being, I feel that staying in Singapore, there are some cultures that I consciously/subconsciously that I will adhere to. Perhaps it is the fear of being a deviant. Or it could be the nature of men to hold a particular mindset and belief especially if one is “brought up” to have such values. On the other hand it could be out of convenience that one makes a particular decision.

My stint at TTRP last year convinced me that I did not want to major in Theatre no matter how much I enjoy it. Visualizing myself being so involved in the scene scares me. Strange how something I am so passionate about can scare me. So I ventured out doing Psychology and Sociology; and realized how often my mind wandered during these classes in an attempt to generate ideas for design, art, media related potential projects. Sure, sociology is interesting. But when I am asked to talk about it, I am rendered speechless. Before I know it, I sigh and try to shrug it off by smiling and changing the conversation topic. Obviously, the interest did not get me far. Plain short-lived. Be it whether I like it or not, I have adopted some of the cultures that my family, my friends, and even the country itself have developed.

Like a sponge, I soak up all I could with all my senses in Australia. I heard the howling of the wind, the rustles made by the trees and the crunch as I stepped on the golden maple leaves; I saw rainbows, people with this a smile so wide, and the friendliest greetings, I tasted really fresh vegetables and fruits and for a moment made me want to turn vegetarian, I smelled nature without the pollution, and I felt this sense of tranquility because people understood rest. Because people weren’t working to their death, because people were doing what they enjoy. That is their culture. That is what I learnt.

Grades are important. But they are not my priority. Does that make sense? I no longer want to do something that I do not enjoy. No way am I saying that majoring in theatre is like the easiest course to take in my faculty, but I am saying that it is something that I am passionate about, and am willing to put in the hours to learn, to enrich my mind. I have a different race to run.

School starts next week. I am still short of a module. All this, I will commit to God in prayer.

I feel like going horse riding!!!!!!!! Anyway, on a lighter note, I think couples should not snog each other in the library. Especially when they are sitting with strangers.