Had a memorable evening last Friday with Shermaine after not meeting up since the start of the year. It was one of my most honest sharing that I had with anyone this year. Really appreciate the hours spent together to talk about anything and everything so freely. ☺ I especially love conversations whereby friends just come together to update each other about their lives, not just the superficial about what we are currently doing, but the thoughts that have been running through our minds for the past few months, the highlights in our lives that you actually walk away really knowing the person better, and even at times, sharing personal experience that the other person is able to relate to. So heart warming!!

One thing I realized about myself is how I always run away from spending time with my parents. On a superficial level, I can simply say “it’s so uncool”, but actually, its more like I really cannot find anything to talk to them about. However, recently, my perspective has changed a little, or at least I’m trying to make that effort to get to know them a little. Realized that my mum really appreciates when I actually just sit around and listen to her, even though sometimes she repeats herself like a broken recorder. Age is really catching up on them and I know my mum is not trying to gain some sympathy points by saying out loud that her body is aching, but it is really aching. So now, as a filial daughter, even when my body and heart is unwilling to give her a massage, I still do. Still working on it. Last time I would simply pretend to not hear. HAHA. Evil Gloria. My dad is so cool, and is one of the smartest guy I know. ☺ That day he talked to me about computers, the media, the market (ok, now that is TOO SMART FOR ME). Haha. Although there are times whereby I don’t agree with the decisions that he “imposes” on me, deep down, I do respect him.

Recently been talking to a few people about the future, about where would we be 5 years down the road? Would we still be serving where we are now or would we be called elsewhere? Then comes the next question, will we be willing to move? Change always seems more alluring if we knew what benefits there are and even the sort of possible experience we stand to gain. However, the thing is that we don’t and will never know until we’re really standing in the field itself.

I’ve experienced too many times whereby I listen to what my heart wants and then look back with some regrets and then wished I could kick myself real hard for not seeking God. Some people tell me it’s all about compromising, you gain some, you lose some. But whose standards are we compromising? Ours? God’s? I really ought to stop stoning, stop smiling and quickly brushing it aside some serious questions that have been haunting me and start praying about it.

Meeting up with various people have been such an eye opener and a myriad of emotions come to be before the meet ups, during the meet ups and after the meet ups.

Like a few weeks ago, I met a group of friends and truth be told, my heart was bursting with excitement because there were so many things I wanted to tell this group of friends, things I wanted to find out from them, and I really missed them. There were days when I looked out of the library windows and on my way back home that I think of them so dearly and those amazing times we spent together just lying on the parquet floor listening to music and sharing our deepest secrets in pitch darkness!!! And sure enough, we had a blast catching up until we went on to a particular sensitive topic that probably got a little out of hand until half of us walked off upset and in tears and the other half upset and confused. AND YOU THOUGHT SUCH THINGS HAPPENED IN MOVIES!!! Some things may seem too trivial and stupid that it seems like there is no need to clear the air, or to swallow our pride no matter how unfattening it is to apologize, but what I learnt that day is to not to let any misunderstanding go unresolved ever again or assume that time will heal the wounds. That emotional outburst and rage that exploded that night will be etched in my memory for a long time.

I have lost half of my contacts ever since I changed phone… but I’m ok with that.
It is not that I am letting go of some friendships, but I guess that number of contacts I have is getting rather ridiculous. How often do I contact some of them? Some of which I have probably forgotten because we do not keep in touch anymore. I don’t want to say I have this number of friends but actually I only know them by name. It is absurd. Maintaining friendships require effort and this summer holidays, I am really making that effort, and not taking that backseat. Some have been pretty surprising, like after not meeting up for two years, we could go on for ages like there was never a gap between us. It is a blessing and this gift of friendship is something I thank God for. Even now, it’s weird, but the people whom I am closer to in Uni are not the ones whom I take the same modules with, or even see them around someday. But my closer friends are the one whom we randomly message a “I miss you” or “are you free to chill on this date?” and so we go that extra mile to check our schedules, set aside time, and then we meet. It is not often we do that, but when we do meet, it is something so precious and I treasure it a lot. ☺

I will upload the photos soon from my various outings. Feeling lazy. What’s there to be lazy about now that its holidays right? Well… let’s just say I have been using my time rather wisely so far. Pray that I will continue to do so!!

In fact, I have read 5 books, 7 comics within a span of a week. Yes, I stay up till 4-5am to read. My poor kidneys. The books have caused me to think quite a fair bit about my own life, the way I have been behaving and even think. Of course, some other books have allowed my imagination to run so wild and freely and I totally love it when my imagination takes me on a ride. ☺

Speaking of that, I MUST remember to pay for arts camp tomorrow or else my head will roll. Alright, time to catch up on some sleep.