Crazy little girl with many eyes.

I have been busy the past week REALLY GETTING DOWN to applying for local universities and doing up my portfolio. It was dejavu art days.

There were times whereby i regretted the choices i made, yet there was this nagging sense of obligation that the teachers wrote my appraisals for that particular course already or how i was often swayed by people's opinions.
It was interesting how the people who were not into the arts where actually persuading me that Art is The choice for me. On the other hand, those who graduated by a bachelor of fine arts or were doing art part-time/full-time would persuade me to go and do psychology, and talk about how if i do fine arts i would be poor!!!

I am still.. Lost.


The portfolio was a nightmare. It turned me into a China icon animal!!!! On top of that, well, hanging around in the Ceramics room once again felt good, but different. Even the imac felt older, or rather well used, which probably ain't that bad a thing. Being rather socialable, i would randomly talk to the year 2s who came in, and surprisingly, some of us have the same music taste. That's awesome. We can exchange music and more things to talk about(not like i'm returning anytime soon). Some things just didn't change---------
There was a particular morning in which i messaged a few friends, almost in tears... reason being i thought i couldn't finish my portfolio. After which, i'd kick myself for not coming to a decision earlier and well, you know, regrets.

Grace.

That's what i was blessed with.

For some reason or another,
Portfolio reel. Check.
3 minute video. Check.
Essay. Check.
Appraisals. Check.
Video 1. Check.
Video 2. Check.
Read me doc. Check.
Faculty test. Sat.

THANK GOD!!!!! It just happened. This is so cheesy, but it is really what my heart is saying with each beat-that words alone cannot explain how blessed i am.

Friends freaked me out by sharing with me their SMU interviews which didn't go too smoothly. Questions ranged from politics to current affairs to themselves to their school to economics. Of all.. i knew... almost nothing of anything. The last time i really read the newspaper, keeping close tabs on current affair was like in Dec when i was so utterly bored at work. Politics? I'm terrible at it. Quiz me on what's going on in Indonesia and i'll give you that same stare as when you talk to me in Chinese.
When you hear about such experiences and then you ask yourself if you have been thrown with all these questions, would you be able to handle it? Personally, not for me. I dug out all my newsweek and that was about it. It ended where i found it. What do you know? I'm starting to sound like a real clown.

Pleasantly awoken by God's grace and plans that it's not about how much i put into reading up all the documents, no, i'm not saying that we should all stop preparing for interviews or exams, rather how much do i trust Him to let Him take charge and decide if this is the course for me? Of course, I know i have been a disappointment when it comes to trusting Him, because before that, my heart was racing in fear, had a few weak attempts at psychoing myself that i was not called up for interview and that i can sleep in. *sigh* I think i should have joined Track. My heart leaped with joy when the profs asked me about Art and drama. Seriously thankful for that, because I would be disgusted with myself if i have to wriggle my way out of some econs question, but rather i could talk about subjects that genuinely interests me!!! Cheers!

Recently i heard this song in my MP3(do i amuse you? ) haha... It's called 'The Distance' by travis.


Do you remember?
Do you remember when you were going to stay free?
But they applied to you and the things you do
And the same goes for me Well I never
Saw it coming to me
But then I turned around and looked at you
That was all I could do
She ran the distance
Everybody wants to run
But if I know different
Feeling like the only one
In the beginning
Everything is so close
And it seemed that everywhere you go
Everybody knows
You don't remember
What you want to be...

Absolutely fell in love with the song. Reminded me of the distance i was running. :)
Want to hear the song? Ask me on msn.. i'll send it to you.

Right now, i can't wait for this week's alpha-degeneration!!! We get to dress up, and show that life has really gone bad!!!! WE EVEN HAVE A GRAFFITI WALL!!oh boy, i sure do have a lot to say!*what's wrong the world mama? people acting like they got no mama, i think the whole world's addicted to the drama...* hahah!
On top of that, meeting HELMET, black nails, CLD and monster for MAAD and The Pillowman! Can't wait to check out the sets!!

*jumps in glee*