“Lord, teach me to love.”

Today I had a double blow. One of which is rather personal. What happened probably isn’t that important although the words are still lingering in my mind. 

When discouragement come, some binge, others diet, a few cry, many suppress it all in. Usually, I’ll take a long walk/cycling trip on my own, talk to God and reflect. At 11:49pm, I can’t possibly take a long walk/cycling trip can I?

Well, I prayed. God knows what I’m going through, but still, I wanted to tell Him. That’s how a relationship work isn’t it? My heart felt heavily burdened. “Lord, teach me to love.” This is something I’ve been praying for since last year’s S&P retreat till today. Once again, I prayed for that. When you love someone, yet, the person does not see it, and cannot comprehend your intention; can you decide to not love the person anymore? No. Reason being love isn’t just a mere word. It’s a commitment. I can’t possibly say I love God today and the next day, I say I hate him or next time when I have a boyfriend, I can’t say I love him one day and the next day I find that I no longer love him. As much as it hurts now, all the disappointment and sadness that is filling my heart. May God just allow me to use this opportunity to display unconditional love to the people around me. God never gave up on Paul, the tax collectors, all that were lost-including me. There’s no reason for me to give up loving that person too simply because of what Christ has done for me.

Yesterday during cg, CX led songs and he chose “Trust and Obey”.  It has been such a long time since I sang that song!!! Love the last verse.

Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at his feet
Or we’ll walk by His side IN THE WAY
WHAT HE SAYS WE WILL DO;
WHERE HE SENDS WE WILL GO
NEVER FEAR: ONLY TRUST AND OBEY

Before Sarah left, we gave each other a challenge.
Gloria’s mission: To let praise be on my lips and heart at all times, be it disappointing or happy moments.

I didn’t forget. Romans 8:37-39 “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

It’s 12:22am now. A brand new day of His goodness! There’s nothing more I ask for.

Preparing for yesterday’s cg was really insightful, as Eirene, Patrick and myself did our research and had our discussions online. What was encouraging was that they were fuelled by love and passion, and I could really see them putting in much effort to teach what was Godly… although we had p3ng who is also known as the revolutionary cult leader!!!! Just thank God for such faithful servants and helping us as well as the members to be more rooted in His word, to have a greater understanding as to why they do the things they do.