The mids are ALMOST over.
I want to really thank God for pulling me through, the ability to sit for 3 hours writing essays till my hands ache, and planting in me a quiet confidence and trust that He is in control.
Honestly, the past 2 weeks have been extremely difficult. To sit down, attempt to read notes, getting the facts in, doing notes, coming up with acronyms requires alot of discipline which i seemed to lack in preparation for this mids. I can shabbily brush off and say that i need this break or if i work too hard now, i'll be too burnt out to work for A levels. However, if i do that, i know it is just an excuse. A futile attempt to justify my actions. I've come to understand the difference between reason and excuse. Reason would reflect a problem that will scream to be tackled while excuse would pave a way for me to run away!

Many of probably didn't know that i actually fell ill before my Econs paper. My heart was fearful and anxious. In my mind, i was thinking, how am i going to remember all these facts? How am i going to sit for my paper with a burning head? Why is that that my school don't offer re paper even with the evidence of a MC? Falling sick and having a high fever before the exam is a student's nightmare. It became mine. My dad forced me to go to the doctor, and even when i did, i was clinging on to my Perfect competition notes! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! So ridiculous but i did that. My heart was beating faster and faster while my brain was slowly shutting down. God has really showered his grace and mercy upon me by allowing me to sit for my econs paper the next day WITHOUT A FEVER! I was so grateful and thankful. My heart was filled with thanksgiving. During this crazy period, i thank God for the people in S&P-for being such great prayer warriors and their constant encouragement NEVER fails to make me smile. THANK YOU.

Went to see Ben off just now. :(
As i was taking the long walk, i thought of what Dad said about looking for universities-both foreign and local. Start doing research on them, the courses they offer etc. So while bao, charis, dazz and i were sitting, just waiting for time to pass, the thought came to my mind. What if i was the one leaving? My heart felt heavy.
Where will He lead me? Which route will i end up in? What am i going to do? Indeed, leaving to go to a foreign land is scary. It is a complete kick out of your comfort zone. I don't even think i will be ready for it. CROSSROADS. i will follow him...follow him wherever He may go...

I'm confused. :( and i feel super unhealthy after today's pork party.