I have always wondered about the lives of the people in each unit.

That old man who sits at his bed watching television. His eyes looked empty. He suffers from dementia. But that glass cupboard was filled with clothes, probably cotton, all neatly folded and piled on top of the other. His face fascinates me. Those well worn clothes, what stories do they have to tell?

Suddenly, I thought of HP’s art work about loneliness and old age. (Dude, I miss you! Hope you are still creating art!)

It’s easy to lament that growing up is tough!!! Where are there so many decisions to make? Is this the right choice??! What if it’s the wrong choice?! What if I say yes? What if i say no?

Suddenly, growing old seems even scarier when we quietly observe the world around us. Sure, local art house films often try to highlight the darker side of Singapore. It is not a bed of roses. However, watching it on screen has its limits. There is a fourth wall. We are free to be passive, to have little emotion or little impetus to do something. However, those 10 minutes standing outside that stranger’s window, listening to the sound of silence, watching those empty eyes, that neat wardrobe...left me thinking about the aging population in Singapore. Maybe I should do an art piece on it.

A handsome young man warmly welcomed us into his house. There were so many art works in there, but if I could retrace my steps, I remember looking at his physique, the keychain sprawled among the unopened letters, the green old fashion tiles on the floor, the magnets on the fridge, the scent of clean laundry, laundry on the bamboo poles, and then the filled bookshelves. I looked at the book shelves, scanned at the books he read and thought to myself “definitely a well-read man!”.

What about the art? I remember that surreal taped room, the sleeping photos... but being in a stranger’s home called out to me more than the art works. So much of a person’s personality can be read just by observing the little details in that person’s house. Honestly, the art works were not mind blowing. I am not sure if it is because I was more drawn to the idea of being in a stranger’s home, but the art works displayed did not call out to me. I was unable to draw any strong sense of rootedness or significance to the place. Would the works have made a difference to the viewer if it was curated at the museum? The experience would definitely be different but would the message be the same?

How often do we see works today that are just
-paintings
-sculpture

Today, art has evolved to something that actively interacts with the space. Hence, video installations, photo installations, etc...

So how effective was that exhibition that I attended? Hmm...

“What sort of relationship is this? It’s filled with so many disappointments and futile attempts when we try to make it right!”

Oh... Human relationships.

Everyone goes into a relationship expecting something.

A client expects the partner to deliver the promised results
A girl goes into a relationship with certain expectations of the boy. Likewise for the latter.
Parents expect their kids to be obedient
...


Recently, some relationships took a 180 degree turn because our expectations of each other were not well managed. We toed the line and the picture turned ugly. Angry words were exchanged. Anger expressed secretly in the heart. Silent words ensued. And then we asked... Why do we bother? Why are we trying?

Humans. Us. Me.

Did we kill each other with our kitchen knives? Nah. The silence and the eventual words did stab in the end. I could be absolutely jaded, raging mad, and mumbling avada kedera under my breath.

Thank God for Christ for taking all our sin upon that cross.

This was taken from Trawling Tuesdays tumblr. I like it. :)

I swear I must be the laziest person on earth.

So.. the parents won an ice cream maker at some lucky draw. How cool is that? Now I can actually make use of those ice cream recipes I found. The reality is, I nit pick about everything. Egg yolks? What am I going to do with the white? And I don’t really like the idea of eating raw eggs. Half boiled eggs do not count. An entire can of condensed milk??!!? My arteries clogged up by the mere thought of it. Ignorance is BLISS.

So the only thing I was willing to make was Raspberry and Blackberry yogurt ice cream. Absolutely yummy. It was easy.. just dump yogurt, some honey, and blended fruits in, then again, I am a sloth so I left most of the fruits as chunky as possible. After all, nothing beats being pleasantly surprised by a big juicy fruit as you dig your greedy spoon into a tub of ice cream. What pleases me most is that the cost is almost zero, at least for this trial. Left over frozen berries from my previous brownie adventures, yogurt that seems to be an endless supply in my fridge and honey. Viola! What a great summer treat.. oh wait, this is Singapore, it is summer all year round. Alright, maybe I can invite a friend or two over one of these days for a delicious treat. Next on my list are scones!! Found a simple recipe... and I want to wake up one day to scones and jam.

Anyway, my friend is in Bali. Seriously? Left without a word. -.-
And my co-partner is in Australia, leaving me to do the sandwich boards all by myself.

Visual cue: Time check is 2am. Art materials everywhere. Hands dirty with glue. Getting tired. Sleep. Wake up to a mess and attempt to explain to the mother that some random drunkard entered my room and made that mess. The mother will not buy that.

Anyway, I think I have a much clearer direction in terms of my future. However, it still needs much thinking and staring at the ceiling... gah..

NO WORK/FREELANCE TODAY!! Oh and yesterday too. Cheers.

There are days where I am thankful for being unemployed (of sorts)... but man, I am bored filling in a gazillion forms with my personal particulars, my education qualifications, blah blah blah. Absolute waste of man-hours!! Oh.. and I need to stop watching plays like there’s no tomorrow. I think I have only been to the movies three times this year, not that it bothers me. After all, none of my friends talk about movies much. Ok, except Avatar and Steel Man. Yes, I am probably one of those rare species out there that has no idea what Avatar is about. Gahh.. Whatever.

Now, let’s make a list of the plays I have watched this year
Ma(r)king of Nanjing
Monster
What Did You Learn Today?
Balek Kampong
Emily of Emerald Hill
Utter
The Little Prince
The Weight of Silk on Skin
Charged
Equus
The Fear of Writing
The Adventures of the Mad Chinaman

And more...
Decimal Points
Gemuk Girls
Wicked

Oh... so that’s why I’m broke. Right... ok. Who would like to hire me?

How is it that it is so difficult to be children?????

There are simply too many expectations, and shoes that are way too big for any child to fill :(

Sometimes I am not sure what to make of it when you say you miss me and that you thought of me. Along the way, we stopped talking like we used to because of something trivial. Our eyes lit up when we met… for a second or two. That, however, was short lived. We went along our way, not sure if there were any other alternatives. We trudge on.

The thing is… I miss you. I wonder if you are having fun. I hope you are happy. Are you still that contemplative, quiet person I fell in love with?

Today, I met someone who reminded me of you. Charming, sincere, and I felt so comfortable talking about art, theatre, literature, places, home to this stranger… That person told me to take a photo today. I could just take a photo, as though it’s of little significance. No, I thought of you. Your silly smile, that unstoppable laughter, your cheeky actions, that frown that I so love… And I realize the photo I want to take is of you driving downtown. The car was our safe haven.

Grab my hands tightly, let’s run till our lungs explode, smile so widely that our faces becomes maps, play our silly games like that’s all there is to life. No, that would be too naïve. Let it be the beginning of something good…

Tonight, when I close my eyes, please be there.